Steaming Pile of Lit.

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Fifty Shades of Grey, Chapter 9 Recap: Ana’s Mouth and Christian’s Telescoping Schlong Unite!

Ana wakes up to a beautiful May morning in Seattle. Okay, I immediately call bullshit on this. While the rest of the world has 4 seasons, Seattle has two: shitty weather-August through June-and not as shitty weather-July and August. Really. Ask Al Roker. I bet he would agree.

Ana leaves roommate, Kate, a voicemail to let her know she is okay. She continues to put her hair in pigtails *eyeroll* then cook breakfast while dancing to tunes pouring through her iPod headphones. Christian enters, amused at the sight, and comments on her energy after a night of having her innocence lost He compliments her pigtails. Now too much narrative is spent on two people eating breakfast and their pursing their lips a lot.

Christian, the ever so caring gentleman, asks Ana how sore she is and if she is ready to continue her training. Like a true educator, he is dedicated to his work. He then demands she clean her breakfast plate, although she is only hungry for penis. The thought of it makes her bite her lip. Honestly, though, I think the thought of cold waffle fries would make this girl want to bite her lip. 

Since Ana admits to being sore, he generously offers that she instead use her mouth on his penis. The things a true educator will sacrifice to make the world a smarter place… Kate then calls, but Ana fears telling her anything because of that damned sex NDA she signed. So she asks Christian if she can talk to Kate about sex since she really needs to discuss it with someone. 

Into the bathtub… together! Ana, stands at the tub naked for Christian to gaze at her and bites her lip again,  which gets Christian hot and bothered. That Ana is such a one-trick pony with that lip biting. He admires the view, gives her permission to sit, and climbs in behind her. He begins to bathe her… down there. She begs for more, but he stops. Asshole. His penis now wants its turn.

It’s so big and growing. 

Why does his telescoping wang just get bigger and bigger as if it never stops growing? He may want to consider getting that checked out since that is just not normal. Awesome, yes. Normal, no.

Ana is then taught by Christian how to rub the out the genie in his bottle, then she immediately decides to go for it and rub with her mouth. Of course, although she just lost her virginity last night and this is her first attempt at this, she is a master. Oh, and, ladies and gents, our gal, Ana, has no gag reflex and swallows. How convenient. Christian gives her an A++ for effort. Rather than giving her a smiley face sticker, he agrees to give her another orgasm and begs her to agree to be his Submissive.

To ease into it, he tires her hands up with a gray tie. Christian Grey… gray tie… Get it? Oh, that E.L. James is one wickedly clever woman! *eye roll*  She won’t stay still, he keeps telling her to stay still, he sniffs her pubes and tells her she smells intoxicating, blah, blah, blah, orgasm. Intercourse, blah, blah, blah. Orgasm.

Then Christian’s mommy can be heard coming in the house searching for him because nothing says sexy like a guy whose mommy has the keys to his house and enters at any time she wants.

Filed under Fifty Shades of Grey FiftyShadesOfGrey christian grey christiangrey ana steele anasteele anastasiasteele anastasia steele BDSM literature ELJames erotica

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